"I can't believe it's not pizza!"

In short:

• Pizza Hut's pizza has a lot of butter.
• Wait, no... it only seems like butter; it's probably a substitute that is sort of like butter (but the connoisseurs can tell that it's not).
• Maybe they use "I can't believe it's not butter!"
• What the-!!! I can't believe it's not pizza!

I am pretty and fun

"I am pretty and fun
I like sheep and rum
If only every plant
were a mistletoe plant
the world would be happy as gum."

"Feline Butterology"

I found this very amusing. Enjoy!

"If you drop a buttered piece of bread, it will fall on the floor butter-side down. If a cat is dropped from a window or other high and towering place, it will land on
its feet. With this in mind, if you attach a buttered piece of bread, butter-side up, to a cat's back and toss them both out the window, will the cat land on its feet? Or will the butter splat on the ground?

In thoery, even if you are too lazy to do the experiment yourself you should be able to deduce the obvious result. The laws of butterology demand that the butter must hit the ground, and the equally strict laws of feline aerodynamics demand that the cat can not land on its furry back. If the combined construct were to land, nature would have no way to resolve this paradox. Therefore, they simply do not fall.

That's right, you clever mortal (well, as clever as a mortal can get), you have discovered the secret of antigravity!

To expand on this theory, a buttered cat will, when released, quickly move to a height where the forces of cat-twisting and butter repulsion are in equilibrium.

This equilibrium point can be modified by scraping off some of the butter, providing lift, or removing some of the cat's limbs, allowing descent.

Most of the civilized species of the universe already use this principle to drive their space ships while within a planetary system. The loud humming heard by most sighters of UFOs is, in fact, the purring of several hundred tabbies. Larger craft use the Mancoon breed and a long ways sliced sourdough loaf.

The one obvious danger is, of course, if the cats manage to eat the bread off their
backs and they instantly plummet. This, as you all know, happened in Roswell 50 years ago. Of course the cats will land on their feet, but this usually doesn't do them much good, since right after they make their graceful landing several tons of red-hot starship and bewildered aliens crash on top of them."

His intrinsic name is Tony Flash

Dad brought home three little gold fish from his HomeTask meeting last night. Luke adopted one right away, naming it "Trojan." I named one "Christmas," and Grace adopted it soon after. The third one, though... Hermes and I decided to share it, and we started out thinking about names for it. I'd say we spent a good three hours tossing names up in the air. The first ones were names like Vincent, Roger Pool, Lord Coocooface, and Persephone. Eventually, we thought it should be a medieval name: Sir Galahad, Lancelot, Edmund, or Beringar (which is a last name). As it got later and later, we got a little freer with the names: Edmund O'Galahad, like Bucket 0' fish; Cozy Truffle, Fillet (pronounce the 't') Fetherfin, and many others that were so strange I can't remember them. Hermes, though, was able to discern the fish's real name. I'm reading a story about a cat, and the author/owner is having trouble naming his cat. He talks about a strange lady- a friend-of-a-friend type- who says that you should lay on your back, knees up, feet flat on the ground. Then you breathe in and out, saying something like "hen/sah" on the in/out. Then you're in meditation mode. Next you look at your cat, and it's intrinsic name will come to you; it will be the best possible name you could have chosen. Well, we decided that we needed to find out the fish's real name. So, Hermes proceeded with the meditation bit, looked at the fish and pronounced: Tony Flash! Well, we laughed ourselves silly, as you can imagine. This morning we decided to stick with Tony Flash; it goes well with Trojan and Christmas. I did have a little trouble remembering his name a little while ago, though, so I called him Speedy Tart. >-o>

7 days, 7 minutes, or 7,000 years?

Today, good ol' Hermes and I were talking about the seven days of creation. We decided that we should celebrate each of these days throughout the week. For example, today being Tuesday, we should do something to acknowledge the firmament/earth and the seas because God created these on the second day. In order, God created day and night first, the firmament and therefore the seas on the second day, all sorts of vegetation on the third day, the sun, the moon, and the stars fourth, the fish and birds fifth, and all other creatures: beasts, bugs, and Man on the sixth day. On the seventh day He, naturally, rested. I find it extremely interesting that God made night and day three days before He made the sun, moon, and stars. Awesome! Happy earth day, guys!

It's time for feasting and merry-making!

Happy feast of St. Elizabeth of Hungary!
Saint Elizabeth lived in Hungary. She was born in the town of Presburg in 1207. When she was thirteen, she married Prince Louis of Thuringa, to whom she had been betrothed for nine years. Their castle was at the foot of a mountain, and she had a hospital built nearby, personally attending to the sick. Unfortunately, all of her nearest and dearest disproved of her work with the poor and sick, but she insisted on following Christ's instructions, not theirs. Here is an example of her piety and humility: On the feast of the Assumption Elizabeth and her sister-in-law went to Mass with Elizabeth's mother-in-law, the Duchess. Duchess Sophia insisted upon them dressing their best. When they entered the church, Elizabeth removed the small gold crown that adorned her head. The Duchess sneeringly asked her why she did so. Elizabeth responded, "Madam, ought I wear a golden diadem in a place where I behold Jesus Christ crowned with thorns?" Elizabeth and Louis had four children. When Louis died, Elizabeth sold what she owned and worked to support her family. She continued to help the needy, even though her family had very little. Elizabeth died when she was only 24, and was canonized by Pope Gregory IX four years later. I love this little quote from her spiritual director (who lived in Marburg, Germany, by the way). "Before her death I heard her confession. When I asked what should be done about her goods and possessions, she replied that anything which seemed to be hers belonged to the poor. She asked me to distribute everything except one worn-out dress in which she wished to be buried. When all this had been decided, she received the body of our Lord. Afterward, until vespers, she spoke often of the holiest things she had heard in sermons. Then, she devoutly commended to God all who were sitting near her, and as if falling into a gentle sleep, she died." I believe that she was a third-order Franciscan at the end of her life; at least, the Franciscans took care of her and her family because they were poor and needed shelter and so forth.

St. Elizabeth's story actually reminds me of Cinderella. She came from a humble family, married into a wealthy one. The only members of her family who supported her pious exercises and devotions died when she was probably about six. These are her mother Gertrude and her future father-in-law, Landgrave Hermann. Without them, all she had left were her proud mother-in-law, her wicked sister-in-law, and her husband Louis. Louis, of course, was good to her and loved her very much, but he was the baby of the family, and had to obey Duchess Sophia and princess Agnes.

Anyway, I personally adopted St. Elizabeth of Hungary as the saint I got my middle name from because I wasn't named after any one in particular. I was in second grade, I think, and I saw a picture of her in a saint book (you know, those skinny little books with a picture on one side and the story on the other?) and she was so beautiful that I had to be named after her!

That said, happy feast day Elizabeth!

The People's Anthem

Hey! I found the music to the Canadian national anthem (and I didn't even have to type it on a typewriter)! This is probably a good anthem to know. After all, it might be the only way to get over the border some day. ;) The history of this anthem is actually quite hysterical. Apparently, it didn't really catch on until 100 years after it was written. Several different people wrote lyrics for it at different times. It was originally written for a banquet in Quebec City in 1880. The tune went with French lyrics, and was enjoyed by all on that evening, but it's fame was short lived. In 1901, some school children sang an English version for the Duke and Duchess of Cornwall when they toured Canada. Also, about this time, the song was published with French and English lyrics: the English was translated from the French by a doctor in Toronto. It was performed by the Mendelssohn Choir, who used Dr. Richardson's lyrics, and the media complimented the doc on his words: O Canada! Our fathers' land of old/Thy brow is crown'd with leaves of red and gold./Beneath the shade of the Holy Cross/Thy children own their birth/No stains thy glorious annals gloss/Since valour shield thy hearth./Almighty God! On thee we call/Defend our rights, forfend this nation's thrall,/Defend our rights, forfend this nation's thrall. Later, in 1908, Mercy E. Powell McCulloch won a contest to write lyrics for the tune, but her words weren't used for very long. A poet wrote a verse, a critic wrote his own version, there were those put together for the tercentenary of Quebec City, while different lyrics were popular in British Colombia. The words sung today, though, were composed by a lawyer and poet by the name of Robert Stanley Weir. He wrote his poem in 1908, it was officially published in 1927, and, with slight alterations, the first verse was made into the Canadian national anthem in 1980.

O Canada! Our home and native land!
True patriot love in all thy sons command.
With glowing hearts we see thee rise,
The True North, strong and free!
From far and wide, O Canada,
We stand on guard for thee.
God keep our land glorious and free !
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.
http://www.pch.gc.ca/progs/cpsc-ccsp/sc-cs/ocanada_e.cfm
(This goes to the sheet music!)

To which race of Middle Earth do you belong?
brought to you by Quizilla
That's me: Claire the Dwarf. Grrrrrr!

O Canada

Last night I had this great dream... I had a typewriter that could be adjusted so that virtually anything, regardless of thickness, could be placed in it and typed upon. So, I made it so that I could put my poetry anthology notebook in it. Then I typed out the verses to the anthem "O Canada"! It was really moving.
I would like to take this opportunity to say happy birthday to my great friend Paul who is turning 18 today. Great! Reach for the stars...
Oh horror, horror, horror! I just realized that I'm scheduled to get my wisdom teeth out (oat) in a week from tomoarrow! That's funny.
As the French have it: Au revoir!