"I can't believe it's not pizza!"

In short:

• Pizza Hut's pizza has a lot of butter.
• Wait, no... it only seems like butter; it's probably a substitute that is sort of like butter (but the connoisseurs can tell that it's not).
• Maybe they use "I can't believe it's not butter!"
• What the-!!! I can't believe it's not pizza!

I am pretty and fun

"I am pretty and fun
I like sheep and rum
If only every plant
were a mistletoe plant
the world would be happy as gum."

"Feline Butterology"

I found this very amusing. Enjoy!

"If you drop a buttered piece of bread, it will fall on the floor butter-side down. If a cat is dropped from a window or other high and towering place, it will land on
its feet. With this in mind, if you attach a buttered piece of bread, butter-side up, to a cat's back and toss them both out the window, will the cat land on its feet? Or will the butter splat on the ground?

In thoery, even if you are too lazy to do the experiment yourself you should be able to deduce the obvious result. The laws of butterology demand that the butter must hit the ground, and the equally strict laws of feline aerodynamics demand that the cat can not land on its furry back. If the combined construct were to land, nature would have no way to resolve this paradox. Therefore, they simply do not fall.

That's right, you clever mortal (well, as clever as a mortal can get), you have discovered the secret of antigravity!

To expand on this theory, a buttered cat will, when released, quickly move to a height where the forces of cat-twisting and butter repulsion are in equilibrium.

This equilibrium point can be modified by scraping off some of the butter, providing lift, or removing some of the cat's limbs, allowing descent.

Most of the civilized species of the universe already use this principle to drive their space ships while within a planetary system. The loud humming heard by most sighters of UFOs is, in fact, the purring of several hundred tabbies. Larger craft use the Mancoon breed and a long ways sliced sourdough loaf.

The one obvious danger is, of course, if the cats manage to eat the bread off their
backs and they instantly plummet. This, as you all know, happened in Roswell 50 years ago. Of course the cats will land on their feet, but this usually doesn't do them much good, since right after they make their graceful landing several tons of red-hot starship and bewildered aliens crash on top of them."

His intrinsic name is Tony Flash

Dad brought home three little gold fish from his HomeTask meeting last night. Luke adopted one right away, naming it "Trojan." I named one "Christmas," and Grace adopted it soon after. The third one, though... Hermes and I decided to share it, and we started out thinking about names for it. I'd say we spent a good three hours tossing names up in the air. The first ones were names like Vincent, Roger Pool, Lord Coocooface, and Persephone. Eventually, we thought it should be a medieval name: Sir Galahad, Lancelot, Edmund, or Beringar (which is a last name). As it got later and later, we got a little freer with the names: Edmund O'Galahad, like Bucket 0' fish; Cozy Truffle, Fillet (pronounce the 't') Fetherfin, and many others that were so strange I can't remember them. Hermes, though, was able to discern the fish's real name. I'm reading a story about a cat, and the author/owner is having trouble naming his cat. He talks about a strange lady- a friend-of-a-friend type- who says that you should lay on your back, knees up, feet flat on the ground. Then you breathe in and out, saying something like "hen/sah" on the in/out. Then you're in meditation mode. Next you look at your cat, and it's intrinsic name will come to you; it will be the best possible name you could have chosen. Well, we decided that we needed to find out the fish's real name. So, Hermes proceeded with the meditation bit, looked at the fish and pronounced: Tony Flash! Well, we laughed ourselves silly, as you can imagine. This morning we decided to stick with Tony Flash; it goes well with Trojan and Christmas. I did have a little trouble remembering his name a little while ago, though, so I called him Speedy Tart. >-o>

7 days, 7 minutes, or 7,000 years?

Today, good ol' Hermes and I were talking about the seven days of creation. We decided that we should celebrate each of these days throughout the week. For example, today being Tuesday, we should do something to acknowledge the firmament/earth and the seas because God created these on the second day. In order, God created day and night first, the firmament and therefore the seas on the second day, all sorts of vegetation on the third day, the sun, the moon, and the stars fourth, the fish and birds fifth, and all other creatures: beasts, bugs, and Man on the sixth day. On the seventh day He, naturally, rested. I find it extremely interesting that God made night and day three days before He made the sun, moon, and stars. Awesome! Happy earth day, guys!